Nichim's Dork Vitae


Nichim
[Address Redacted], Vermont

Curriculum Vitae

Education

Continuing education in androgogy and assessment, Vermont Department of Education
I am trained to administer assessments of oral English comprehension and production (BEST PLUS), basic skills in reading, writing, and math, including pre-literacy (TABES, CASAS), and preparedness for the GED (GEDP). I can discourse ad nauseum on these assessments and their failings. I have also received training in leading book discussion groups (VOICES) and in coaching approaches to overcoming challenges in executive functioning.

Introduction to Wheel-Thrown Pottery, Montpelier Mud, 2011-2012
Made a large number of very awkward bowls, cups, and plates. Gave them as gifts to family and friends.

Coursework in Website Development, Community College of Vermont, 2011
I received an A+ in this online class, often correcting the instructor’s broken links and outdated content. For my final project, I hard-coded a fan site for the long-running British television series Doctor Who using HTML and CSS, including custom-made buttons linking to my favorite Doctor Who fan-generated content.

Master of Arts in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, Portland State University, 2010
Thesis describing the collaborative creation of new texts in Chinuk Wawa by non-Native second language speakers, using a meticulous iterated process of tracking and categorizing changes made in the editing process. Took every theoretical linguistics class available in the Applied Linguistics department, including Syntax and Semantics in the same semester.

Bachelor of Arts in Spanish Literature and Languages, Reed College, 1997
Thesis comparing five translations of the Popol Vuh (an ancient Quiche Mayan text of Guatemala, inscribed at the time of conquest) using the tools of deconstructionist literary criticism. This work involved travel to the incomparable Newberry Library in Chicago, where I spent three days with the oldest extant copy of the Popol Vuh and accompanying descriptions of the Quiche and Kakchiquel languages. Extensive coursework in linguistics. Extensive leisure time spent talking with physicists.

Professional Positions

Teacher/Community Coordinator for Central Vermont Adult Basic Education
Responsibilities include getting adults excited about basic arithmetic, including fractions, decimals, and percents; explaining the combinatory power of the English simple and perfect tenses to order past events in narrative; and complaining about the ineffectiveness and inadequacies of federally approved basic skills assessments.

Proofreader, editor, and formatter for the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde
Collaborated with a cantankerous, eccentric linguistic anthropologist to design and output a dictionary of Chinuk Wawa, based on speech collected from Grand Ronde elders. This work required profound and inexhaustible attention to myriad details, including standardizing orthographic conversions, hacking change tables in outdated databases to produce desired output, confirming correspondence between CW->EN and EN->CW sections, maintaining strict version control in the face of tremendous disorganization, and making sure said anthropologist didn’t kill himself or anyone else.

Translation Services Coordinator / Quality Assurance Specialist / Oregon Notary Public for the International Language Bank
Obsessively enjoyed proofreading foreign language texts. Zealously guarded good moral character as a notary public, performing the pettiest of public functions for hundreds of refugees and immigrants, including Ukrainian ladies, Ethiopian grandfathers, and Cambodian monks.

Exotic Dancer for various establishments, including the venerable Mary’s Club
Hung upside-down in various states of undress while undulating artfully to the music of a wide catalog of dorky bands, including Gang of Four, They Might be Giants, and Polvo. Prepared numerous unpublished manuscripts on the intersection of this work with the writings of Antonin Artaud (The Theater and its Double) and Irving Goffman (The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life). Twice won the annual academic contest sponsored by eccentric customer “Professor” Ronald Mar, a traffic engineer from Renton, Washington.

Musician for various outfits, including Horn Jam, Whatever Girl the Musical, Space Hawk, Unitarian Universalist Church of Montpelier, and The Red Cloud Quartet
I play the oboe. And the tenor recorder. I also own a euphonium and enjoy volunteering at the annual used musical instrument swap in Montpelier. Many of my most recent musical performances have involved backing up a local singer-songwriter on horns and drums for an audience of church ladies. With the psychedelic space rock band Space Hawk, I co-wrote and designed evangelical pamphlets heralding the return of a mighty alien bird deity through embodiment in musical performance.

Publications

Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde Chinuk Wawa Dictionary Project, 2011. Chinuk Wawa: kakwa ntsayka ulman-tilixam ɬaska munk-kəmtəks ntsayka / As our elders teach us to speak it. Seattle: University of Washington Press.

Zenk, H., Johnson, T., and Nichim, 2010. “Chinuk Wawa (Chinook Jargon) Etymologies.” In Proceedings of the 45th International Conference of Salish and Neighboring Languages. Vancouver, BC: University of British Columbia Working Papers in Linguistics, p. 270-348.

Dickerson, T. and Nichim, 2009. “The Time of Space Hawk.” Portland, OR: Meaning Liberation Media.

Awards

Vice-Dork, Life and Times of Michael 5000, 2010. Also Acting Vice-Dork, 2011.
James D. Nattinger Fellow, Portland State University Department of Applied Linguistics, 2009.
President’s Award for Academic Excellence, Reed College, 1997.
Paul Pfutze Merit Scholarship, Oakwood School, 1993.

Affiliations

Northern New England Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages
Freeride Montpelier Bicycle Collective: Spoke Organizer
The Red Cloud Quartet: Oboe, recorder, drums
Central Vermont Fiber Community: Carding, spinning, dying, knitting, crocheting
Unitarian Universalist Church of Montpelier: Co-Chair of Holiday Bazaar “Attic Treasures” table
Chinuk Wawa Writers Circle

Obsessive interests not mentioned above

The works of J.R.R. Tolkien and related ephemera
Encyclopedias
Identification and taxonomy of fungi and, to a lesser extent, lichens 

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